Remembering to Breathe!!!

Let me start off my telling you all about a beautiful little boy named Michael Terry Jones! We named him after the most important man in each of our lives, our fathers. And we can only pray that Levi is in my dad, Michael's, arms right now. Michael Terry Jones is a strong little man, he is a fighter, our own "ultimate fighter." He was born at 3lb 14oz and 17" long! He cried immediately, which was a sound that I may never be able to describe. We had been waiting and praying to hear those lungs fire up for what seemed like an eternity, and when they did, all AJ and I could do was cry along with him. As of now he has dark hair and blueish eyes. He may come home with blond hair and brown eyes or brown hair and blue eyes, you just never know. He has blond peach fuzz on every inch of him. He has his Mommy's hands, long and skinny and his Daddy's feet, arched and wide. He is absolutely beautiful and no one who has seen him can get enough of him, especially AJ and Me.

His first experiences with the outside world have been filled with trials and hurdles, but he is continuing to roll with the punches. First off, if you look at the photo album that is linked in this blog, you will see in the early shots that he had a huge tube crossing his face called a C-PAP. This basically forces humidified oxygen into his lungs. This tube doesn't go into his lungs itself, which is a good thing, as those tubes can cause scarring in the lungs. But by Wednesday September 30th he was taken off of that big tube and put on a small cannula that just puts small puffs of oxygen/room air into his nose to stimulate breathing. He has a lot of other tubes and wires attached to him, most of them regulate and record other bodily functions. The tube that goes into his mouth is a feeding tube that goes into his belly. He didn't have a good go- round with the formula that they tried in the first few days; his body didn't want to digest it. But I like to think that he was just stalling until Mommy's milk came in, because he has done great digesting that. Michael and Mommy are a nutrition team to be reckoned with! I pump around the clock and he does his best to take in more milk every day.

Of course having said that, I need to let you know that the above is "game plan," and no matter how hard we try, occasionally we all have to rebound and rethink even the "best laid plans." Yesterday we had to do just that! (SIGH) Michael and I do what is called "Kangaroo Care". There are pictures in our album of us in action, or rather not in action at all, doing Kangaroo time. Basically, we stick him down my shirt, so that his body is against my chest, skin to skin, for at least an hour at a time. Then we relax, I am in a reclining chair, and we just stay still and quiet. The goal is that he can hear my heart, which is familiar to him, and smell me, and feel my lungs move in and out. This has been proven to do some remarkable things for him, including, regulating heart rate, shortening the time in the NICU, aiding in the transition to nursing, etc. Well, we typically both really "zonk" during this time, but not yesterday... he just couldn't remember to breathe. He was having bouts of apnea (pausing in respirations) and then we would have to rub him vigorously to stimulate him again. Needless to say, by the time the hour was up I was a stressed mess, and I doubt he benefited it either. So it wasn't our best time! The doctors and nurses keep reassuring us that all of that is apparently NORMAL for NICU babies to do from time to time, but this did encourage the doctor to do some more testing. Well, today we know that Michael has a little infection and it is causing a domino effect. The infection is causing him to have labored breathing , which makes him have to have more air, which causes air to inadvertently get into his belly, which makes him too full to keep his food down, which causes him to be tired and not at his best to fight an infection. Ahhhh.....that is a mouthful. It has been a bit of a vicious cycle, but now we know the source so he is on antibiotics to clear the whole mess up.

Today our "Kangaroo" time went so much better! (Heavy sigh) We cuddled up for over an hour. It was awesome!!! And we also got moved to a room that is just us and one other baby who will be going home soon. (I had asked if we could move due to the fact that twin boys were brought in yesterday, and one was put right next to us; between the grief and the hormones that was too much for me to take.) Michael's new room is darker and quieter so I think it will be more relaxing for him. He needs that to finish growing and developing all the inner parts that are so important. It is sometimes hard to remember that he isn't just a little baby, but he is a baby that should have been growing in me for another two months. We have to remember that he has needs that we don't automatically think of and we will continue to learn about him and his requirements. Our goal is to be able to trust our informed instincts, just as we would if he were born full term. So we keep the faith, we try to trust the experts, and we put all our love into Michael, in hopes that he will keep progressing.