"In God's Arms"

This past Sunday we laid our son Levi to rest. In South Bend there is a program called "In God's Arms," that is a memorial built just for babies. You would never have heard about it if you hadn't known someone who had lost a pregnancy and had participated in this service. A local funeral home honors babies by having a burial four times a year for the ashes of those lost. In 2008, I attended this service with a friend to honor the miscarriage that she had suffered, and it made a positive impression on me. I came away, at that time, with a sense of peace and hope. So, when it came time for us to make a decision for Levi, I knew exactly how I wanted it handled. Rather than focusing on a traditional sad funeral, we chose "In God's Arms" to honor and acknowledge his presence in our lives. It gives me a sense of peace to know that Levi is buried with the babies rather than alone somewhere else. The service took place at Southlawn Cemetery here in South Bend. The area dedicated to these babies is a peaceful and pastural setting that includes a large monument, bench, and headstones honoring the babies. As time goes on, it will be a peaceful place to visit and share with Michael. Although it was a tough and emotional day, hopefully we will get a bit more closure on our loss, focus more on the present, and look forward to our future. Which brings us full circle back to Michael.

After the memorial service, AJ and I went up to the hospital to see our "little fighter." We had made arrangements to have the chaplain that baptized Levi come and do a blessing for Michael. Titus (the chaplain) is a very nice man that has a calming energy about him. He took care of Levi two Monday's before and he made us feel as comfortable in our situation as anyone could. In fact, while he was praying over Michael, Michael couldn't stop smiling. His smile right now seems to be mostly accidental, but it is great to see him grin and bare his little gums. Titus also shared with us that his wife had had a twin brother that died at birth. What are the odds that we would have that connection. We left Michael's room with a sense of comfort that we had made the right decisions for our family.

Again this morning I am reflecting back not only on this past weekend, but on the past two weeks. Although, there have been many people/angels that have been a part of our lives in the past few weeks, (more on them later) there are three that stand out in my mind today. In addition to Chaplain Titus there are two men that I want to acknowledge. The first is Dr. R. Shah. I cannot express enough the compassion that I feel from this man. I count my blessings every day that he was the doctor on call that night. Being cared for by a large group of doctors, you never who you're gonna get. But there is no one else that could have taken better care of us that night, physically or emotionally. That brings me to Kerry Palmer. Kerry and his family run Palmer funeral homes, and Southlawn Cemetery. From the time he walked into my hospital room he seemed to understand what we were going through and has helped us through the process. He shared that he was familiar with the NICU, and also with loss. Kerry took the time and energy, when some people wouldn't, to make a huge exception for our Levi to be included in the "In God's Arms" service. You see normally the service is for 20 week babies and earlier, Levi was 29 weeks; it is also affiliated with St. Joseph Hospital, we were at Memorial Hospital, but he made it happen for us because it was what I wanted. We will be eternally grateful.

That is all the time I have this morning; I am off to the hospital to see my Michael, who by the way now weighs 4 lbs!!!!!!! He is getting so BIG!!!!!!!!